Inner Vows or Judgments

Have you ever said: "I will never a let a man (or women) ever hurt me again?" Or, "I will never put myself in that position again." "I can't trust anybody." "Nobody can do it right but me." "I will never be like my mother (or father).""I will never be like that." "I will never share what I really feel, it is not safe." Many men say this about their mothers, and then it transfers to their wives. "Men (women) never do it right." "Don't share," etc. Proverbs teaches us that as we think in our hearts, so we become (Proverbs 23:7a). If we make these "vows," or statements, they are waiting to be fulfilled, and Satan will make sure that they happen. Many of these vows were said as children, yet they effect our lives as adults. If you have ever made such statements, it is now time to go before the Lord, and repent and break the power of the curse that was has placed on your life.
The following is a list of typical vows:

· I don't matter.
· I'm not good enough.
· What's the use in trying. I'll never be good enough.
· I'm an outcast.
· No matter what I do, they're going to violate my boundaries.
· I'm not allowed to have boundaries. Also the expectation that I wouldn't have any boundaries, they wouldn't be honored.
· I'll just suck it up and go on.

· I'll just pretend it doesn't hurt and go on.
· No body will believe me.
· No one will hear my heart, or listen to me, or validate me, or acknowledge me.
· Emotions don't matter.
· Feelings should not be expressed.
· It is not OK to play or be playful.
· It's my fault.
· I'm worthless.
· I'd better be perfect or they won't like me.
· Everyone gets what he or she wants; I never get what I want. When is it going to be my turn?
· I'm defective.
· What's wrong with me.

· I don't have time for emotions.
· I can't access my emotions.
· I won't access my emotions because it is too painful and not safe.
· Emotions can't be trusted.
· Keep peace at any price.
· I have no control over it. (my circumstances)
· It's OK to hurt me because I deserve it.
· No one is going to hurt me again/twice.
· I'll never be hurt by a man/woman again.
· I'm not going to give anyone another chance.

· I'm suppose to save this marriage.
· I've got to be king.
· I'm just a door mat.
· I'm a victim.
· I have to be good.
· I'd better look good.
· I don't want to respond to the emotional needs of others.
· I'm not able to respond to the emotional needs of others.
· I don't want boundaries ; they are a fence.

· I'm depressed.
· It's just so hard (self pity).
· Men don't cry.
· Men don't hug.
· Men have to be tough.
· Men have to be strong.
· I am unclean.
· Time heals all wounds.

· Nothing is true, everything is permissible. (Situation Ethics)
· You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
· I have to take care of everything and I don't have time to take care of myself.
· It's just not for me.
· I'm not going to have my turn.
· People always take advantage of me.
· I'm a bad seed.
· I have bad blood.
· I've always done it this way.
· This is the way it's always been.

· I'm not going to be like my (mother/father).
· You always hurt the one you love.
· I'm not going to change.
· I can't change.
· I've always been like this.
· If you trust anyone, they'll hurt you.
· If you remember, you will die.
· If you remember, your family will die.
· You can never tolerate the truth, it is too painful.
· If you hug anyone, they'll end up hurting you really bad.
· If you love anyone, they'll crush your heart, or they'll be killed.
· There's no God.

· If anyone says they love you, they're not to be trusted.
· God does not love. He hates and uses people and so does your dad. · Children are to be seen and not heard.
· We're dumb and stupid. We'll never amount to anything.
· Women are not good.
· Women are only to be used.
· Women are weak.